But I’ve had an epiphany, thanks to another article from CNN. Researchers found a 4.4 million-year-old skeleton of a hominid female, nicknamed Ardi. She is perhaps the oldest fossil ever found.
I withdraw my argument that A. is actually a Fish Person. Instead, I submit that A. is actually a descendent of Ardi and her ilk.
I have solid proof to support my theory, to wit:
- Ardi is 4-feet-tall. So is A.
- Ardi weighs 110 pounds. A. claims to weigh 110 pounds.
- Ardi has very long arms and fingers. A. has arms and fingers (I know she has fingers because I’ve actually seen them -- up close -- as she pokes me in the eye).
- Ardi has an opposable big toe. A. often complains her big toe is opposed to most of her ideas.
In addition, the article states Ardi owned “all-purpose teeth” that likely feasted on a diet of plants, fruits and small mammals. I once caught A. biting a neighbor’s cat. She said it was delicious.
Perhaps the most shocking fact found in all my research (or maybe I'm just imagining it): The artist rendering of Ardi (top) is strikingly similar to our artist’s rendering of A. (bottom).
“Researchers are still trying to pinpoint when the two lineages -- chimps and humans -- split from their common ancestor.” I submit A.’s ancestors may have travelled the former road.
Finally Ardi and A. both begin with A. Coincidence? I think not! For that reason alone, I rest my case.
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