Monday, September 28, 2009

Fish People: Coming soon to an underwater cave near you!


http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/science/09/26/mekong.species/index.html

According to the article above, over 160 new species have been found in Southeast Asia.  Among these new friends are 20+ new types of fish, yes, fish, and a bird-eating frog.  Let this article be a testament to just how closed-minded Me! has been about the evolutionary possibility of Fish People.

Take that, Me!. Take that.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Monday, September 14, 2009

Disconnected

A.: The fax machine hates me.
Me!: I know. We had a nice, long chat about it.
A.: Stop it! Can you help me fix it?
Me!: What's the problem?
A.: Do I have to plug it into a phone line?

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Toilet humor

Setting: Me!, on the toilet in the stall. A., not in the stall but in the bathroom. 
A. (turning off the light): "Just trying to help you out."


Me!: "I am 43 years old. Whatever I need to find, trust me, at this point I can find it in the dark."

Friday, September 4, 2009

Fish tales


I wasn't going to blog about this because it disturbed me so much. So I am only going to say this once, because I can only bring myself to say it once: A. believes in fish people. I'm not talking about the BarĂ¡, or Fish People, of the Northwest Amazon. No. I'm talking about fish, people.

A. was watching a documentary with her "boyfriend" (whom I will call "A.'s B." to protect what little innocence he may have left) and he convinced her that the show was about this little-known tribe of "fish people." They were newly-discovered by scientists, so he claimed, and were very shy, so few land people have seen them. She believed him, and told me, and I told her, "Boy, he really brings out the dope in you." A. laughed, and then pouted when A.'s B. laughed, too. A. actually believed the practical joke -- if for only a minute. Now, our reward is getting to tease her mercilessly.

But despite the taunting, A. has since spent her days carefully considering the fish people. Her "vision" of the fish people sparks concern. They live under the sea, with big suckers on their heads and a big, empty, black hole where their face should be. Their fingers are webbed and look like catcher's mitts with talons on the end. I have a suspicion she would offer the same description of a Republican, if asked.

I will not dwell on this subject any further, for I cannot. It saddens and silences me. Oh, it's fodder for a lot of teasing, but now I am convinced (more than I was before) that A. has been abducted at some point in her life. Surely she's back here now because whatever abducted her dumped her home with galactic speed after she regaled them with a few choruses of "You are not aloooone! I am here with yooooou!"

All in all, I now believe A. is a fish person. After all, she DID take the bait.

Opposites attack

A. (pouting): You don't love me anymore!

Me!: I love you as much as I can, given the circumstances.